Viva La RAvolution 2011

“What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now.”
– Buddha

As we move to the end of one year and the start of a new year this quote feels somehow more fitting than at any other time in my life. What I am at this end of one year is standing at the edge or precipice of what I have been and what I have known as my life up until now, and what I am planning for 2011 is a small quest/adventure for a new Ramona in the new year.

I have lived a life based on responsibility since I think I was born, I have to face that it may just be who I am. When I was three or four years old my mom wanted to pack me up and drive around the United States in a VW van, prefepreferably purple of course. She bought two Encyclopedias that she hoped just by reading would suffice as my education. At this young age I was the odd little voice of reason and responsibility and I told her very gravely – “we just can’t do that mommy I need to be in one place with people I know and friends my own age.” That is how responsible I am, and I realize now probably always will be.

But the time that responsible Ra just stopped making sense was before my mom died. I have felt a pull in my life to do more, to try more, to go further, to ask more questions for some years now. But the responsible Ra that talked my mom into staying in San Francisco all those years ago (and I am grateful that I did) has too often stood in the way of allowing myself to really let go and give myself a chance to do and truly be the person I hope and think I can be.

So that is where the RAvolution comes in, after much time struggling with just what I wanted to do and where I wanted to do it, and a whole lot of other “responsible”  little nonsense questions that I just couldn’t find an answer to. I said, “what if responsible Ra took a short break and a back seat?” What if I let go of any question and gave myself a few months to do all of the things Responsible Ra has talked me out of for all of these years?

Just what does that mean you might ask and where will that take me? Those are good questions because I can only let go so much so there is a structure and a plan to the RAvolution. The RAvolution is a revolution, a revolution of RA. I am doing things I have always wanted to do and a few I never wanted to do but have to do to make the RAvolution work. That is all part of it; it’s about allowing myself space and time to grow.

I am going to do a whole lot I have never done in my life starting with giving up my AMAZING apartment in New York City and putting all of my stuff in storage (I brake out in a cold sweat of anxiety just at the thought of this).

In March I am going to go on a month long trip through South East Asia, the plan is to spend time in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and Laos hopefully. This is a trip I have wanted to take for years now but have found reasons – no one to travel with, taking all that time off work, spending all that money, and do I really have to get shots and take Malaria medicine (yes!)  – to not make the long worthwhile trip a reality.

In April and May I am going to stay with my friends Anne and Beth in the Salinas Valley near Pacific Grove and Monterey. The plan for these months is for me to learn how to drive (yes a way over due experience and skill that my self doubt and procrastination has put off for the better half of my life). I may even learn to ride a bike! Watch out world Ramona will be mobile!

In June I am going to go to Kenya for a month to volunteer with children. I have dreamt of doing this for the better part of my twenties and early thirties and again that Responsible Ra gave me a laundry list of how I just couldn’t take the time off work, what would I do with my apartment, and again do I really have to get shots and take Malaria medicine (yes!).

With all of these silly, responsible roadblocks out of my way – scared of taking a month off work – I’ll take four. What will I do with my apartment for a month – I’ll give it up and put my life in a 10 by 10 storage room. Did I mention shots – well its part of life and I am taking 2011 to start living it a little more fully, if not fully on the edge. Currently I am planning to be living on the edge (of reason, sanity, and maybe big ideas and thoughts) from March through July.

I am taking the Buddha’s words to heart – I am seeing that who and what I am is based on my history, a history at times I am proud of and at times I wish had been different, but it is the moments of my life up to this point. Who I will BE is based on so much more – it is part dream, part determination, part risk, and part desire to see a new way of life unfold. The RAvolution is my attempt to find this new me and the only way to do that is to stop giving myself excuses and do a whole lot I have dreamed of not later but NOW.

The RAvolution is upon us. I will blog and share stories and photos the entire way. I will cry, I will laugh, and I will even drive! I am scared beyond words, but I am excited, thrilled, overwhelmed and did I say excited and a wee bit impassioned again.

I so appreciate all of you being in my life, and at this threshold I appreciate it even more than before. You are all the best parts of me and I am able to do this endeavor because I know you are all with me and will be with me whatever the outcome. I will bring you with me each step of each day.


Ra la RAvolutionary

Photo Credits:

Photo 1: By Jessica, in Ubud Bali February 2007
Photo 2: By Gina Gornik above Lake Tekapo New Zealand January 2009

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11 2010

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  1. Mara #

    Oh RA! I am so excited for you and can not wait to live vicariously through you! Lots of love to you always!!

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